Connie: Hi! I'm Connie Lung.

Harry: And I'm Harry Wheezer. We're here at the Environmental Protection Agency to cover a late-breaking story. Eight of the world's worst air pollutants are picketing the EPA to protest against clean-air legislation.

Connie: In tonight's special report, we'll give you the scoop on where these pollutants come from and the ways they can hurt people and other living things.

Harry: Our first interview is with the Particulates. (Particulates walk over, carrying signs and chanting.)

Particulates: Dust, soot and grime.

Pollution's not a crime

Soot, grime and dust,

The EPA's unjust!

Connie: (coughs) So-- you're the Particulates.

Particulates 1(Soot): Yeah- I'm Soot, this is Grime and this is Dust.

Harry: You guys are those tiny bits of pollution that make the air look really dirty?

Grime: Yeah! Some of us are stirred up during construction, mining and farming. (throws some dirt in air).

Soot: But most of us get into the air when stuff is burned-- like gasoline in cars and trucks or coal in a power plant and even wood in a wood-burning stove!

Dust: And we just love to get into your eyes and make them itch and make your throat hurt and...

Grime: (interrupts) Come on, Dust, quit bragging! We gotta get back to the picket line. (Particulates return to picket line. Carbon Monoxide sneaks up behind Harry.)

Harry: Let's introduce the folks at home to our next pollutant, Carbon Monoxide. Hey, where did he go? Oh, there you are! Pretty sneaky, Carbon Monoxide!

Carbon Monoxide: Yeah, sneaking up on people is what I do best. I get into the air when cars and trucks burn fuel inefficiently -- but you can't see or smell me.

Connie: Then how can we tell when you're around?

Carbon Monoxide: You'll find out when you breathe me in! I can give you a bad headache and make you really tired. (gives an evil laugh)

Harry: (yawns) Oh-- I see what you mean. Thanks for talking with us Monoxide. (yawns again) (Carbon Monoxide returns to picket line.)

Connie: (checking notes) Next we'd like you to meet some of the most dangerous air pollutants-- The Toxins. (Toxins walk over, carrying signs and chanting.)

Harry: You Toxins are made up of all kinds of poisons. How do you get into the air?

Toxins 1: Hey, man, we come from just about everywhere. Chemical plants, dry cleaners, oil refineries, hazardous-waste sites, paint factories...

Toxins 2: Yeah, and cars and trucks dump a lot of us into the air too. You probably don't know it, but gasoline is loaded with us toxins.

Toxins 3: Wow, that's for sure. There's benzene, toluene- all kinds of great stuff in gas.

Connie: Scientists say you cause cancer and other kinds of diseases. What do you think of that?

Toxins 4: They can't prove a thing!

Toxins 5: That's why we're here-- to make sure you people don't pass any more laws that might keep us out of the air. C'mon, Toxins- we're outta here! (Toxins return to picket line. Sulphur Dioxide walks over.)

Connie: Next we'd like you to meet Sulphur Dioxide. (Turns to face Sulphur Dioxide) I understand you just blew in from the Midwest.

Sulphur: Hey, I wouldn't miss this for all the pollution in New York City!

Harry: I'm sure the folks at home would like to know how you get into our air.

Sulphur: Well, heck, don't they read the newspapers? I've been making the front page at least once a week! Most of the time, I shoot out of smokestacks when power plants burn coal to make electricity.

Connie: And what kinds of nasty things do you do?

Sulphur: Nasty-- that's me! (snickers) I think it's cool to make it hard for some people to breathe. And I can make trees and other plants grow more slowly. But here's the most rotten thing I do: When I get way up into the air, I react with oxygen in water in the sky, and presto! You get acid rain! (sprays water at audience)

Harry: Acid rain is a big problem. It can hurt or kill fish and other animals that live in lakes and rivers and some scientists think it makes trees sick. Acid rain can even eat away at statues and buildings.

Sulphur: (proudly) That's right. Hey, I can even travel a long way to do my dirty work. If I get pumped out of a smokestack in Ohio, I can ride the wind for hundreds of miles and turn up as acid rain in Vermont!

Connie: I sure hope we can get rid of you soon, Sulphur Dioxide!

Sulphur: Good luck, guys! I gotta do some more picketing before I catch the next east wind! (Sulphur Dioxide returns to picket line. Nitros walk over.)

Harry: (to the audience) He's really rotten!

Nitros: (all together) You think Sulphur Dioxide is rotten? You haven't met us!

Connie: You must be the Nitrogen Oxides.

Nitro 1: Just call us the Nitros for short. (turns to audience) Give me an "N"!

Audience and other Nitros respond: "N"!

Nitro 2: Give me an "I"!

Audience and other Nitros respond: "I"!

Nitro 3: Give me an "T"!

Audience and other Nitros respond: "T"!

Nitro 4: Give me a "R"!

Audience and other Nitros respond: "R"!

Nitro 5: Give me an "O"!

Audience and other Nitros respond: "O"!

Nitro 1: What's that spell?

Audience and other Nitros: NITRO!

Nitro 2: What's that mean?

Other Nitros: DIRTY AIR!

Harry: Hey, I didn't know pollutants could spell.

Nitro 4: Very funny, Harry.

Connie: So, how do you Nitros get into the air?

Nitro 5: We get airborne when cars, planes, trucks and power plants burn fuel.

Harry: And what happens once you're in the air?

Nitro 1: We can make people's lungs hurt when they breathe-- especially people who already have asthma.

Nitro 2: And, like Sulphur Dioxide, we react with water in the air and form acid rain.

Nitro 3: But we also make another form of pollution. And here she is-- BAD OZONE! (Bad Ozone waves and walks over. Nitros return to picket line.)

Bad Ozone: Well, my friends, the Nitros, pour into the air, they get together with some other pollutants. As the sun shines on all these lovely pollutants, it heats them up—and creates me, Bad Ozone. And where there's ozone, there's smog.

Harry: (to audience) Smog contains a lot of ozone.

Connie: That's right, Harry. And smog can really make city life miserable. It can make your eyes burn, your head ache and it can damage your lungs.

Harry: But what I want to know is, if ozone is so bad, why are people worried about holes in the ozone layer? (Good Ozone walks in from offstage.)

Good Ozone: That low-level ozone is my rotten twin sister-- she's just a good gas turned bad! I'm the good ozone that forms a layer high above the Earth. I help absorb the harmful rays of the sun.

Bad Ozone: (nastily to Good Ozone) So what are you doing here, sis?

Good Ozone: I'm here to support the clean air laws. If certain chemicals keep getting pumped into the atmosphere, I'll disappear. And without me, the harmful rays of the sun will kill some kinds of plants and give many more people skin cancer and eye disease!

Harry: But what kinds of chemicals are making you disappear?

Good Ozone: It's those terrible CFCs! (CFCs walk over from picket line.)

CFC 1: Hey, we're not so bad! People have used us CFCs in coolants for refrigerators and air conditioners for your home and car.

CFC 2: So what if we destroy a little bit of ozone? There's enough to last for years!

CFC 3: Yeah- who needs ozone anyway?

Good Ozone: People do! Tell them what else you CFCs are doing!

CFC 4: What's Ozone complaining about now- global warming? (EPA scientists walk in from offstage. Good and Bad Ozone walk offstage.)

Scientist 1: Excuse me, but did I just hear someone mention global warming?

CFC 2: Yeah. What do you want?

Scientist 2: We just happen to be experts on global climate change.

Connie: Are CFCs really changing the world's climate?

Scientist 1: Well, we're not positive. But over the past 100 years or so, people have been pouring gases, such as CFCs and carbon dioxide, into the air.

Scientist 2: And as they build up in the atmosphere, these gases may be acting like the glass in a greenhouse.

Scientist 1: That's right. They let the radiation from the sun in -- but they keep the heat from getting out. And this may be causing the Earth's climate to become warmer.

Harry: I've read that if the temperature goes up, sea levels may rise. Wow, some cities on the coast might be flooded some day!

Scientist 1: Well, nice talking with you all, but we've got to do some more research so that we can really nail these pollutants. (Points to CFCs. CFCs give scientists a dirty look, stick out tongues. Scientists walk offstage.)

CFC 1: Hey, we're not even the biggest cause of global climate change. You gotta talk to another of the big pollutants about that.

Harry: (checks notes) There's only one other pollutant on the list: Carbon Dioxide. (CFCs return to picket line. Carbon Dioxide 1 and 2 walk over.)

Dioxide 1: Did we hear you mention our name? We aren't really a bad gas, in the right amount. About a hundred years ago, there was just the right amount of us in the air.

Dioxide 2: But then people started burning more and more things -- they built power plants that burn coal, and cars and trucks that burn gasoline. And they started cutting down and burning forests! Every bit of that burning releases extra amounts of us into the air.

Dioxide 1: As more and more of us got into the air, people started saying that the Earth was warming up-- because of us!

Dioxide 2: Yeah-- as if it's our fault! (to audience) The reason you're in such a mess is because you use so much fuel and cut down so many trees!

Connie: You're right, Carbon Dioxide. Maybe we should be doing a special report on people-- we're the ones who are really causing most air pollution.

Harry: But people can change! (turns to audience) How about you? Can you think of some ways that people can help fight air pollution? (Audience responds with ideas, such as driving cars less, using less electricity, conserving forests, planting trees and so on.)

Connie: And that's the end of our special report. The bottom line? These air pollutants are a pretty tough bunch-- but people help create many of them, and people can reduce the amounts that are in our atmosphere. Thank you and good night.

Pollutant curtain call.

The End.